You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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