I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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