I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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