Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
