it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
