Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
