I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
