I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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