i think i have herpe
just one?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
