She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she pinky promised me she was 18
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize