My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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