Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
