Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(226): View more from Ontario

can you blame him?

(519): View more from Ontario

i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT

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(860): View more from Connecticut

he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape

(617): View more from Massachusetts

wtf, did you fuck a retard?!

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(352): View more from Florida

i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.

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(347): View more from New York

CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS

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(281): View more from Texas

threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.

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(510): View more from California

I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN

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(858): View more from California

Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?

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(561): View more from Florida

I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.

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