I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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