Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
