nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The uberlube is also flammable
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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