Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize