So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
