Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
