So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize