alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
