32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize