I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize