so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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