He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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