Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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