I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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