her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
