I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
