all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
