Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
