Redeem this text for a blowjob
the day after is always just damage control
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
