i just had sex bonerless
if only i could text you this smell
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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