I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize