you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
