but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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