i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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