i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
