He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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