Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
