I heard we made out
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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