How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize