i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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