K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize