She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
