Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
