lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
