lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
