Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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