Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
