im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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