Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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