oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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