How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
