have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I look better un-naked...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
