you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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