Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
