i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
