Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
