i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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